For parents and caregivers

Start by understanding the gap

Parents and teens often see this differently. In Pew's survey, 44% of parents named social media as the biggest negative influence on teen mental health, while only 22% of teens said the same.¹ And while 80% of parents said they feel very comfortable talking with their teen about mental health, only 52% of teens felt that comfortable.¹

That gap is a reason to lead with curiosity rather than conclusions. Your child may see real value in social media, and they may be right about some of it. Starting there makes the harder conversations easier.

Talking about it

Aim for many short, low-stakes conversations rather than one big talk. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests regular, open-minded check-ins, including about your own use.² Questions that tend to open things up:

• What do you like most about the apps you use?
• How do you usually feel after you've been on for a while?
• Have you seen anything that bothered you or felt off?
• Is there anything about my phone use that bugs you?

Listen more than you speak, and resist reacting sharply to what you hear. If your child learns that telling you about a bad experience leads to losing their phone, they'll stop telling you.

Build a family plan together

Rules work best when kids help make them and when they apply to adults too. The AAP's free Family Media Plan walks you through choices as a family.² Common elements include:

• Screen-free times and places, especially meals and bedtime.
• Devices charged outside bedrooms overnight, which protects sleep.
• Do-not-disturb hours on everyone's phones, including yours.
• Regular screen-free activities the family genuinely enjoys.
• A check-in date to revisit the plan as your child grows.

Age and readiness

Most major platforms require users to be at least 13, yet nearly 40% of children ages 8 to 12 use social media.³ There's no perfect age, since readiness depends on the child. Many families find it helps to introduce social media gradually: start with limited features, fewer apps, and more oversight, then extend independence as your child shows they can handle it.

Parental controls and privacy settings are useful scaffolding, especially early on. They work best when your child knows about them and understands why, rather than as secret monitoring.

Model what you hope to see

Kids notice what we do far more than what we say. Putting your own phone away at dinner, saying out loud when you're taking a break from the news, and being honest about your own struggles all teach more than any rule.

Signs it may be time for more support

Reach out to your child's pediatrician, school counselor, or a mental health professional if you notice:

• Persistent changes in mood, sleep, eating, or grades lasting more than a couple of weeks.
• Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy.
• Intense distress, anger, or panic when they can't access their phone.
• Signs of bullying, harassment, or someone pressuring them for images or secrets.
• Talk of hopelessness, self-harm, or suicide. Treat this as urgent: call or text 988, or call 911 if they're in immediate danger.

How to find care for your child